Bordem Can Do Crazy Things To You
by TurtlesMan
Summary: Crazy Hand is bored, so he wanders the mansion wondering what to do. Suddenly, Link bumps into him and spills water on him by accident. Angry, Crazy Hand decides to get back at him by devising a plan involving Link and some girls. Who knows what could happen?


_A/N: I know, I know. I have an unfinished story somewhere else to complete. The thing is, I lost track of where the story was going. So until I can think of a good next chapter, here's something else that's been on my mind, except the people here are replaced with Super Smash Bros. For Wii U characters. Enjoy, and hopefully I actually write this one out._

Chapter 1

 _*IN MASTER HAND'S OFFICE*_

"Bro, I'm freakin' bored!" exclaimed Crazy Hand. "There haven't been any challengers in Classic Mode lately and I'm not getting any Crazy Orders from anyone. It's not fun for me anymore!"

"Well, if you're so 'freakin' bored', then do something about it. Don't come to me and complain about your problems." said Crazy Hand's brother, Master Hand. He had had enough of Crazy Hand coming into his office to complain about there being nothing to do in the Smash Mansion.

"Fine! Maybe I will," said Crazy Hand. "and whatever I do, you can't complain about it, okay?!"

Master Hand suddenly got a chill up his spine(?). Considering the fact that it was his brother, whatever he may have planned could potentially lead to a catastrophic destruction. However, this was his chance to finally shut Crazy Hand up and give him something to occupy him away from him.

"Alright, I won't." Master Hand promised.

"AWESOME!" shouted Crazy Hand. With that, he zipped out of the office faster than that one time Sonic ran after Kirby over eating the last chili dog in the fridge.

"…I'm going to regret this, aren't I?" Master Hand thought as he looked(?) at the doorway Crazy Hand exited out of.

 _*LIKE AN HOUR LATER IN A HALLWAY*_

"I told Master Hand I was going to do something, but I didn't think this out, did I?" Crazy Hand said to himself. It had been about an hour since he got the approval from his brother to allow him to do whatever he wanted. But, when he really thought about it (which he rarely ever does), he didn't really have much to do. Sure, he was as strong as his brother in terms of strength and magic power, but what could a sentient floating left hand do in this house? He wandered around the halls, deep in his rare thoughts, until he bumped into one of the fighters, Link, who was carrying some bottles of water. Crazy Hand came back to reality as he was splashed with water while Link fell onto the floor.

"Hey, watch where you're going, bud! Now you got me all soaked in your dirty acidic water!" Crazy Hand screamed at Link as he was getting up.

"Mmm." sounded Link while he gave a bow of apology and walked back into the hall to probably get some replacement water bottles. This left the left hand confused. Now, Crazy Hand, unlike everyone else in the mansion, did not know that Link only made sounds in place of talking. Looking at the Hylian swordsman walk down the hall after what had taken place, Crazy Hand became angry.

"So that little elf man thinks he can spray his water onto me and then walk off while only making a sound?! I DON'T THINK SO, BUB!" Crazy Hand said to no one in particular. "It's time for him to pay, but how?" Crazy Hand went back to the realm of his thoughts until he heard(?) noises coming from the open window. When he looked out, he saw the entirety of the female fighters on what looked to be a picnic.

There was a blanket, a basket, food, everything one needed to go on a picnic with a group of friends. Crazy Hand thought back to Link as he stared at the girls. He then got an idea and smiled(?) deviously.

"Alright, Link. If you can handle coming into contact with a god all calm and such, then you can surely handle doing the same with a bunch of girls…" Crazy Hand muttered to himself. "Okay, time to make a plan." Crazy Hand floated off to his room while he devised his plan to get revenge on Link.

 _*OUTSIDE AT THE PICNIC*_

"My, what a wonderful picnic this is," Wii Fit Trainer said, "This was a good idea, Peach. Everyone needs to go outside and get some fresh air, sometime."

All of the female fighters were currently outside on a blanket eating gourmet-style sandwiches because of Princess Peach. She noticed the small number of girls in the mansion, so she decided to have a little get-together with the girls. To her surprise, everyone accepted, even Samus and Bayonetta, presumably to get away from the flirtatious efforts of Captain Falcon and Wario.

"I agree with her," Said Zelda, princess of the kingdom in Hyrule, "I enjoy getting to spend time with all of you girls." Zelda looked at everyone with a pleasant look. However, she saw that everyone was looking behind her for some reason, so she turned around as well. Behind her, a man in green stood looking down at her. It was none other than Link, who she had asked to get some bottles of water for the picnic.

"O-Oh, Link!" said Zelda as she jumped to her feet. "You sure gave me quite a spook! I see that you got the water bottles I asked for, so thank you for that." She felt herself blush as Link nodded and gave her the bottles. Afterwards, he walked back into the mansion and Zelda sat back down on the blanket.

"Dear Goddesses," thought Zelda, "I can't believe I stuttered in front of him. That's so embarrassing!" She blushed even harder at the thought of it.

"Ooh, looks like someone's got a little crush~ Better be careful or I'll steal him from you~" Peach teased. She was amused to see the normally calm and composed princess become a completely different person in front of another man.

"I-I do not have a crush on him!" said Zelda, turning red in the process. "I mean, we're only just friends and it's not like I like like him. I mean, he is kind of cute and he does help me with things but that's it! Nothing more!"

"Relax, princess." Said Samus. "I'm pretty sure Peach is only teasing you, right?"

"I don't know~" Peach said with a shrug and a smirk. Both Zelda and Samus looked straight at her.

"Who was that guy, anyway?" asked the Female Corrin. "He had a sword on his back, and it looked pretty interesting."

"Seeing as how Zelda is in a state of embarrassment, I'll answer that for you," said Palutena as Zelda glared at her from the other side of the blanket, "That guy's name is Link. He's the hero of Hyrule who saved both his land and Zelda from Ganondorf. I've fought him before and he's no joke; he's good. He also has the body of a god~" Palutena said with a lustful look in her eye.

"Surprisingly, I agree with Palutena on this one." Said Rosalina with a little smile. "He is pretty toned in body shape. He also has other physical features that make him look beautiful." Rosalina put a hand to her face as the girls looked at her with a strange look.

"Can you stop talking about Link like that?!" Zelda exclaimed. "I assure you he does not have the body of a god, and if we were to compare him to something, he's only like a demigod at best!"

"Oh, and how would you know what he's like? Have you actually seen him and his body?" asked Bayonetta with a grin on her face. Everyone looked at her and looked back at Zelda, who had a shocked look on her face.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Zelda looked away from Bayonetta while blushing. "I've n-never seen Link shirtless before…"

"You sure are stuttering a lot, princess." Said the Female Robin. "It seems as though you are lying to us. Are you really telling the truth?" Everyone bored their eyes onto the massively-embarrassed princess.

"Y-You know what?! It's getting late, and I'm getting tired so I think I'm going to go to my room now and rest. Farewell everyone!" Zelda huffed and hurried off while the other girls began to giggle at the sight of her running off.

"We might have pushed her a little too far…" said Lucina. "I feel bad."

"Ah, don't worry about it, Lucina." Said Peach. "She's only like that because she knows it's true that she's got a crush on Link."

"Same could be said for you, Peach." Samus said. "You seemed to be looking at him as if you were ready to pounce on him."

"Augh! So was Palutena!" Peach said.

"Hey, don't bring me into this. This only involves you three." Said Palutena.

"What do you mean 'three'?" said Samus. The girls continued to bicker with one another, with the others eventually joining in as well.

"Alright, I think it's time we head inside. It is getting pretty late, don't you all agree?" Wii Fit Trainer got up and looked at everyone as they all sat there in silence, angry with each other. The yoga instructor sighed and thought, "All of this over one man? There must be something special about him. Whatever, though." Wii Fit Trainer dismissed the thought.

"Yeah, whatever." Peach simply said. "Thanks for coming." Everyone got up and left, leaving the Wii Fit Trainer by herself with the blanket, dishes, and miscellaneous items.

"Aaaaaand they're all gone…" Wii Fit Trainer said to herself. She began to stretch and said, "Well, time to clean this up by myself, I guess…" She began to pick up everything.

 _*IN MASTER HAND'S BEDROOM LATE AT NIGHT*_

"Well, I haven't heard from Crazy Hand all day." Master Hand thought. "Maybe he found something to actually do. Oh well, it's not my problem." Master Hand proceeded to get ready for bed. "But it does make one wonder: what is he doing?"

 _*OUTSIDE OF LINK'S ROOM STILL LATE AT NIGHT*_

It was very late at night, and Crazy Hand was floating outside of Link's bedroom. He had spent hours planning out what he was going to do to the swordsman involving the girls. He had already snuck into their rooms and put a certain spell on them that the plan needed in order to work. The final piece was to put a spell on Link too.

"Hehehe, this is going to be so great." Crazy Hand whispered to himself. "It will be so great, that he won't know what hit him!" Crazy Hand made a gesture of victory before quietly opening the door to Link's room. There, he saw the hero, resting in his green bed of his green-themed room. He silently floated to Link and observed him.

"Don't worry, this will all be over soon." Crazy Hand said. He then began to chant the spell. However, what Crazy Hand didn't know was that Link had the sensory instincts of a wolf, so Link woke up instantly and pounced on Crazy Hand while clawing at him with his hands. This caught Crazy Hand by surprise, and he ran out of the room in somewhat painful agony.

"Mmm?" Link sounded, questioning what Crazy Hand was doing in his room. However, he deduced that sleep was more important than Crazy Hand, and went back into his covers and fell asleep. If he had stayed up a little longer, he could have seen the flashing lights coming from each of the girls' rooms as Crazy Hand's spell had been put into effect. What could the spell have been?

 _A/N: This might not be as good as I hoped it to be, but it's at least something to occupy my time with. Anyway, if you enjoyed this, you can give it a review and some feedback on what you'd like to see. Until then, this is TurtlesMan, signing off. See you in another story._


End file.
